Children run alongside and taunt you, because you’re old, but you don’t care, because your hearing is shot! Your hair falls out, but you can’t tell, because your eyesight is shot. You brush your bald ...

They don’t make sayings like they used to. Once upon a time, people didn’t just say something was great — it was the "cat’s pajamas" or the "bee’s knees." If someone was being annoying, they were told ...

There are those who believe that old sayings are wise because someone now dead said them or wrote them or carved them into the cave walls a long time ago. But it’s our journalistic duty to laugh at ...