Former presidential candidate and newly-minted MAGA man Robert F. Kennedy Jr. once beheaded a whale with a chainsaw. He says he is now under federal investigation for this act, despite it having occurred long ago and having been a lovely family trip.

"I received a letter from the National Marine Fisheries Institute saying that they were investigating me for collecting a whale specimen 20 years ago," he stated at the event.

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration confirmed on Monday it is investigating RFK Jr. to find out if he decapitated a dead whale twenty years ago.